Coloring Outside of the Lines

Black and white has always been an issue always ignoring the other colors in the spectrum, too blind to see anything except the shades of gray in between. Separated by the color of our skin for so long causes us to become numb to the fact that although slavery has been abolished, minorities have been given rights, and segregation in public places are "illegal", we still uphold all of these laws in an indirect manner. I once spoke to a girl that attended Bethune-Cookman University, a HBCU in Daytona Beach, FL, and she informed me of the outright acts of racism that she faced every day as a student in a predominantly white elderly community from enduring mouthed "I hate you's" at the stoplight to not being admitted into certain bars due to "White's Only" sign that was raised above the door frame. We all thought that these occurrences were in the past after we started sharing water fountains across color lines and the integration of schools, but we failed to realize that this innate hatred of colors outside of the lines still haunts our lives today. Now, I'm not trying to preach on the mountaintop about the need for racism to end our country because that would be a slow, but progressive action; I'd rather address the issue in my own community, my fellow blacks that have forged color lines within our own race.

Looking in the mirror, I see the reflection of a black girl, not a red bone, high-yellow, light bright, too light to be black, "you gotta be mixed somewhere down the line" female staring back at me. Why must I be described like that, why can't I just be black? I never really understood where my skin tone placed me in the "black color wheel" because I tanned in the summer looking like a "brown skinned black", but became fairer in the winter like a "light skinned black". Confused by the complexities of skin tones, I just want to claim black no reason to distinguish the hue of my skin just know that it is pigmented. 

Conversing with one of my friends about the future of his love life left me perplexed as one of the requirements of his "perfect woman" was solely on skin color. He began the conversation by saying, "I would never date a dark skin girl." Curious about his reasoning, I asked, "Why not?" His response was. " I'm not attracted to them. I would have sex with her, just not have a real relationship with her." Again, I asked, "Why not?" He said, "Because I don't want my kids to be dark." Crushed by this response as a "light skinned black girl", I concluded that his response was nothing more than shallow, could he really base his love life off of skin tone? Maybe, I'm old-fashioned, but I thought relationships should be based on attraction, personality, shared interests, and common goals, not skin tone. Granted, I love my black brothers and probably would never date outside of my race, but I would never not date a black man because he is too dark or too light rather give him a chance for who he is in the inside. No matter the hue of his skin, his inner beauty outshines any tint or tone of his skin -- I would love the darkest man from the villages of Africa to the lightest ones from the Northeast, either way I would not advocate for the promotion of division amongst my people.

Sorting Laundry

Having "guy talk" with my friends, I have come to the conclusion that females will pass by that diamond in the rough because he doesn't have all of the criteria that are on her laundry list. We always complain that chivalry is dead, but we only say that because the guys we are currently talking or have talked to don't respect us enough to walk us to door, open the car door, give up his seat on the bus, or sincerely care  if we have made it home safely. Today on the bus, this boy was willing to give up his seat to a girl, but she chuckled and declined his offer and gave the excuse that if she sat down she would fall asleep. It's this feminist attitude that has caused over 50% of women to be successful and single.

With the radio stations constantly playing songs like Boosie's I.N.D.E.P.E.D.E.N.T., Jamie Foxx's She Got Her Own, Pussycat Dolls I Don't Need A Man, and Destiny's Child Independent Women, we as females are constantly "empowered" to be independent because we don't need anyone else, especially not a man in our life. Although we blast these lyrics on our Ipod, we still have a sense of emptiness that can only be filled by a man. Even with this void, we still have a laundry list with unobtainable requirements that only Jesus can possess.

Be aware that there is a difference between standards and holding on to every aspect of the laundry list that has mostly shallow criterion. Look on VH1's hit show What Chilli Wants, we will have to have ten seasons just for her to find what she wants. I understand the list of wants (laundry list) can be extremely long, but it's time to sort through the laundry to know what you need (standards). So, ladies you may not date that 6'3" 200 lbs. football physique kind of guy, but you may have to give that intellectual guy from your Chemistry class a try because his charm and respect is amazing.