Giving Thanks!

It's Thanksgiving Day and the purpose of this holiday is to be thankful for everyone that has touched you, so I have decided to give shout outs to those who have made a significant impact on my life.

To my bestie, Dijon, who always keeps in real even when I don't wanna hear it and who always has my back no matter the situation. She understands my addiction to shopping because she has it too.

To my little brother, Drew, who always makes me laugh and me remember how much it is to be a child.

To my grandmother, Gam, who gives me words of wisdom and advice on everything, including relationships, school, and cooking recipes. 

To my wonderful mother, who gave me life and believed in me that I could accomplish any and everything I put my mind to.

To my amazing Preview staff, who helped me create so many memories over this past summer! In the tune of We Are the Boys: "In all types of weather, we'll all stick together."

To my cuzzo, Jon, who gives me advice that keeps me focused even when I don't want to.

To my roomies, the girls who keep me busy throughout the school year with our late night dinners and girl talk sessions. We are remember that we will do big things in the world.

To all of my other friends and family, I love you all and I'm thankful that you have made a positive impact on my life throughout the years. 

Boo'd Up

What is considered a boo? A boo is nothing more than a titleless term that describes an individual in an insignificant, uncommitted relationship. Now I’m not talking about the term of endearment that is in reference to your girlfriend or boyfriend, but rather to the one who you call when you’re lonely or text whenever it’s convenient for you and you need some company. It’s about that time for “Boo’d up” season, you know what I’m talking about – when the weather outside is alittle nippy and Christmas is around the corner and you need a cuddle buddy to keep you warm at night or buy you that gift you’ve been eyeing at the mall. You aren’t really looking for a serious relationship, but just someone to play house with for a while as you act like wifey.

But the thing is I’m not looking for a boo, a mere untitled male that is only around for a season. I want a man – don’t get it confused with a boy because there is a distinct difference - that respects me above all, understands my wants and desires, encourages me to be myself, and relishes in my accomplishments, not shoot them down because it doesn’t line up with his future plans. A man who knows when he has a good woman by his side and doesn’t want to trade in his Picasso for a cheap yard sale replica. A man who wants to worship with me in church on Sunday and prays endlessly for our safety and long lasting relationship. A man who is goal-oriented, a futurist, a realist, and a hard worker. A man who doesn’t want to know me on a physical level, but rather wants to explore my innermost thoughts on a deepest of levels. A man who is secure in his appearance and current status, not buying big cars or throwing his money around just to cover his insecurities. A man that doesn’t need to always buy me the most expensive piece of jewelry just to express his love, but one that can write a simple handwritten note saying “I love you!” to show how he feels. A man that appreciates my natural beauty and doesn’t make me feel uncomfortable as I lay lazily on the couch with my favorite plaid sweatpants and oversized t-shirt with a scarf on my head that hides the curly afro that is beneath. A man that can hold an intellectual conversation with me over dinner and a glass of Moscato. A man who watches Sunday football games, but also can compromise to watch Lifetime.  A man who compliments me even when I think I’m having a bad day. A man whose forehead kisses cause me to be shift into a state of ecstasy. A man who isn’t satisfied with just being my boo, but one who strives to be my best friend, my life partner, my Spiritual counselor, my advisor, my lover, and my future.

Please understand that this is not an ad for the man of my dreams, but it is an issue that needed to be addressed because so many women and men are settling for this “boo” status that equates to a convenient state of seasonal cuddling, which results in an eternity of seeking, but not finding their dream mate that they have wantedfor so long. I don’t know about anyone else, but I know that my standards are high, I deserve the best, I refuse to settle for less. I will not fall to be a statistic of the “Boo’d Up” season.

What it's like to be a black woman?

Listening to my favorite poem, A Black Woman's Smile by Ty Gray-El, as he speaks about his love of a black woman's beauty and strong personality. Here I sit listening to the words of this poem understanding how much I love being identified as a black woman, a woman of distinction, honour, and strength, but with greatness comes feelings of depression, failure, and insecurity. Sometimes my body type isn't desired by society because of the curves that outline my hips or creases that surround my lips or even the curly texture of my hair that is often untamed to show the naturalness of my ethnic identity. It's hard to be a black woman there's no doubt about that, especially if you are one of the ones who is immersed into the white society unaware of the limitations that the color of your skin has bound you to - unknowing of the barriers and obstacles you must overcome to make a name for yourself. Being seen as an inferior for so long has caused many generations to be brainwashed with the ideas that will have to accept the fact that being a black woman is nothing more than being a piece of gum on the bottom of someone's shoe. Being seen as nothing more than a video girl, a high school dropout, or a pregnant whore who is unable to locate her baby daddy. Facing all of these stereotypes has forced me to be resilient to the expected situations that several black women face because I want to be the one who stands up for her people as an example of excellence to all those black women out there to overcome the odds and stand strong together to be that black woman that Ty Gray-El speaks of in his poem. I'm not saying this will be easy, but it is important for us to not look at each other as enemies whom we must constantly compare ourselves to, but rather as counterparts in the quest to have that "Black Woman's Smile"


Be sure to check out the reading of the poem on Youtube. Here is the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N7RtnaU52Yo&feature=related